Are You Clever?
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    Every time we pass another 1,000 visitors, I add a "crawling comment" to the home page. Now, you can try YOUR luck at coming up with something good/funny/clever/incisive/legendary/sarcastic.

    Please, avoid being mean-spirited or just plain vicious. I've given this lots of thought and a friend who works for a paper in the suburbs helped me see the light.

    Send me a good line to follow, "We are over xx,xxx visitors . . . " and it might get used on the home page. We'll post them all here and then choose one for the home page. Let me know if you want me to use your name! If so, I'll put it right with your contribution on the home page.

    An example: We are over 34,000 visitors. That matches the number of lifetime cheeseburgers eaten by Ted.

Most of all, have fun.

    Send your attempts to silaryt@phillynews.com

RESPONSES . . .

We are over 36,000 visitors . . .

1. . . . That almost matches the amount of times Joe McCourt's butt has been kissed on this website.
---- anonymous

2.  . . . That is a little less then the amount of points the North Falcons let up this year.
---- anonymous

3.  . . . That's about the amount of times Nase will be slapped when Brendan gets home from college.
---- JUDGE1

4. . . . That's the amount of times I have read on this website, "Coach Fox is back and now we will make the playoffs."
---- Kev Hanlon

5. . . . That's roughly the amount of times Ted has been driven crazy by his trusty assistant, Tom "Puck" McKenna.
---- Ed "Huck" Palmer

6. . . .The number of times I heard McDevitt fans chant last year,   "Marty's afraid of Dougherty" (Marty Jackson).
        Also the amount of times I heard that the North is weak and the South is great.
---- anonymous

7. . . . That's the amount of years Mr. Schneider has been coaching at Mastbaum!
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: It's 44, actually. And he still has energy.)

8. . . . That's close to the amount of times that Gratz has been to the championship.
---- anonymous

9. . . . That's the amount of fans at the Clippers. All season.
---- anonymous

10. . . . And I will still take Mr. Jackson's back in a fair one with any player/coach duo. (People need to stop hatin against Mr. Jackson. Get to know him before you talk about him.)
---- Brendan McCormick, La Salle '99

11. . . . About the number of players who tried to cover Kev Hanlon in his 4 years in the Catholic League! And we are still looking for someone to stop him!!!!!
---- Kev Hanlon, reporter for tedsilary.com, Judge '00
   (Ted's note: I warned you. This lad is frisky.)

12. . . . About the number of people who signed petitions in Marinucci's Deli to try and allow Jim Reeves to play varsity basketballl the year after transferring from La Salle to Judge. He still wasn't allowed.
---- La Salle alum

13. . . . About the number of people who cheered after Hanlon missed the shot that could have beat North and put Judge into the playoffs last year.
---- anonymous

14. . . . That  matches Kev Hanlon's turnovers in just two varsity years.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: Folks are teeing off on Kev. He HAS been asking for it.)

15. . . . That's the amount of times the Prep's football coach crossed the bridge to recruit in New Jersey. Thank God for E-Z Pass!
---- anonymous
(Ted's note: Decent attempt, but flawed. He lives in Jersey.)

16. . . . That matches the number of shots attempted by Allen Iverson!"
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: This month?)

17.  . . . The amount of aging newspaper articles on "lil Jimmy Reeves," to this very day,  plastered on the walls of Marinucci's.....now that's a shrine.
---- the lark

18. . . . Almost as many pitches as Matt Ricci threw in the bullpen last baseball season for judge.
---- Matt Daley

19. . . . Almost as many times as the JUDGE baseball champ video was watched at Klinger and McKenna's house.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: And wasn't the play-by-play work tremendous?)

20. . . . The amount of runs JUDGE baseball could have scored on Frankford if they still had a city championship game.
---- BENCH BUDDIES

21. . . . The amount of people who cried when Kev Hanlon left North for JUDGE.
---- Kev Hanlon (leave your name, why the anonymous?????? be a man)
    (Kev's note, taking the place of Ted: Ted, put this in there. I went to North as a freshman, but left after a week. I knew Judge was my calling.)
    (Ted's note: These days, Kev should be calling a shrink.)

22. . . . Also the amount of Father Judge kids who will be serving at McDonald's in 10 years.
---- Prep nut
    (Ted's note: This one is a contender!)

27. . . . The number of Judge students and alumni who wanted Hanlon to go back to North once he came to Judge.
---- Judge '00

28. . . . The amount of times Khavaughn "KoKo" Shannon crossed over Kev Hanlon per quarter.
---- CD grad '00

29. . . . Also the number of kids that attend the Prep that are not from Philadelphia.
---- Judge nut

30. . . . Amount of shots KoKo missed in Dougherty's loss at Judge. We didn't have to play D on him because he couldn't shoot. So, I didn't cover him.
---- Kev Hanlon

31. . . . Just about the number of unbelievable players who have quit Prep b-ball. (Sorry, Barker!)
---- anonymous

32. . . . Number of times Mr. Basketball, Kev "Wahoos" Hanlon, will be yelling at his mom for sending a shady cat like myself this picture of him!
---- the lark

33. . . . The number of city prospects overlooked by Steve Lappas.
---- Jon

34. . . . Around the amount of calories that Nase consumes at lunch in the good, old Judge cafeteria.
     . . . Close to matching the amount of injuries that Hanlon complained about in one season.
     . . . Probably matches the amount of people that talk a lot of trash on here and don't even play a sport for their high school.
   . . . Close to matching the number of times that damn Hawk flaps its wings during a St. Joe's game.
--- all by Brian Kearney

35. . . . Just about the amount of times Judge's Kevin Wolf prayed his shot would go in against Dougherty so the pretty boys of Judge could stay undefeated.
----- One of the Loonies
    (P.S......KEEP GIVING WOLF THE BALL!!!!!!!!! He STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    (Ted's note: Not from 24 feet in the last second of an OT game.)

36. . . . Sorry, Kev, but that's about the amount of times I fell off my chair laughing when I saw the picture "the lark" sent in.
---- Brendan McCormick

37. . . . Is this the number of times that Marty Jackson has beaten Bill Fox?
---- Hawk rower

38. . . . Almost as many words as Huck uses in his game summaries. (He went from 5 or 6 lines to 5 or 6 pages.)
---- his good buddy, Bill Bethel

39. . . . The number of times Sparky Cooney has whined about the 1992 Judge-Dougherty PCL semifinal game at the Palestra.
---- Jim Meredith, Judge '92 (friend of Kevin "Sparky" Cooney and friend of Dave Black, CD '92)
    (Ted's note: This was a wild one. Dougherty won, 46-43, in part because Black made two free throws after a highly controversial intentional foul call in the last few seconds. After the game, the schools' fans hurled trash at each other. Lots of fun. Sparky was Judge's manager.)

40. . . . That's as many times as I laughed watching CD's coach "Dinger" in action.
---- CD alumnus
(Ted's note: Mark Heimerdinger is indeed a pip.)

41. . . . The number of tears that dropped from Joe Brzycki's face onto Northeast's Field after North Catholic woooooped Judge for the Tucker Trophy!
---- North Catholic Football Seniors

42. . . . We're not exactly sure why.
            One person for every Penn State whine about the Kevin Jones decision.
          Matches the amount of money that Tom "Hockey Puck" McKenna adds to SEPTA's yearly budget.
---- all three weak attempts by Kevin "Sparky" Cooney

43. . . . That's the amount of times I'm going to ask you when the Football Book is going to come out.
---- Big Jack
    (Ted's note: Good news on that front. Just this week I obtained the necessary sponsorship. We should be going to press within two weeks. Info will be posted on the website. Thanks for asking.)

44. . . . About the amount of times the "pretty fluent" Ryan Tyson has fallen asleep during
French class.
---- Tim O, Prep Senior
45. . . . Which is also the amount of times Matt Walsh of G.A. has kissed his own butt on this site.

46. . . . The number of times Kevin Hanlon has tried to be funny, unsuccessfully.

47. . . . The number of people who have been scared to leave their name after trying to break me, unsuccessfully.
---- Kev Hanlon

48. . . . The number of times this NE mom has bothered Ted.
---- Deborah, mother of Brent Grimes
    (Ted's note: She likes to keep us on our statistical toes. No bother at all.)

49. . . . That's just about the same amount of times your staff partner, Amauro Austin, has backed down to Kevin Hanlon.
            (Also, thats about the same amount of vocab words Hanlon has over Amauro).
---- Hanlon's boy

50. . . . The number of cheesy things Kev Hanlon has said since becoming a writer for Ted.
---- anonymous

51. . . . We are over xx,xxx visitors. (Subject to full recount by Board of Elections).
---- Sparkulator

52. . . . Amount of times Ted has made a fool of Nase.
---- Nase

53. . . . The number of consecutive days between Ted Silary's articles on a girls team or player.....from any league! (wink).
--- Brian Duross Sr., Wood
    (Ted's note: Brian is Wood's girls coach. Good thing I like him.)

54. . . . The same amount of timeouts called in one season in the Catholic League North, the most overcoached division
in the history of high school sports.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: The happiest moment for any Northern Division player is the night of the all-star game. Finally, everyone gets to just PLAY.)

55. . . . The number of ugly girls that La Salle guys hang out with.
---- Prep stud

56. . . . The number of stories in "Kev's Korner" that are about Judge.
---- JG

57. . . . Number of times I have to agree with Ted for the all-star statement. (I played in the senior/third team All-Catholic all-star game last year and it was great. I wasn't a robot.)
---- Tres

58. . . . That's the amount of La Salle kids (current and graduated) who are afraid of McDevitt kids.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: And they're all afraid of Penn Charter kids.)

59. . . . That's the amount of stupid things "Juanny Wags" and Ryan Nase have said on this site.
---- Silary fan
    (Ted's note: I knew there had to be one fan out there.)

60. . . . The number of times Prep people have said something inappropriate, premature, or stupid on this web site.....and the commments go on!
---- O'Hara Player

61. . . . The number of Prep fans that I dislike.
---- O'Hara Stud
    (Ted's note: Player and Stud are the same guy. He got much better from one e-mail to the next.)

62. . . . The number of O'Hara, Carroll and La Salle kids that say they hate the Prep because they couldnt get in.

63. . . This is the amount of hours of sleep Ted has lost posting stupid e-mails on this site.
---- anonymous

65. . . . The amount of recruiting letters received by Penn Charter guard Zandy Reich (according to him).
---- anonymous

66. . . . Number of people Judge O-line coach Ed Gallagher has told "Can't play for him."
---- Ryan Nase (I've been hit with this line on more than occasion)

67. . . .Number of times I have dusted off the TUCKER TROPHY since the 19-17 win over Judge.
---- North Catholic Senior

68. . . . The number of times parents drove their kids to practice and games during their basketball careers.
---- basketball mom for many years

69. . . . The number of times the "Almighty" (so they think) Judge basketball team is mentioned on tedsilary.com.
---- anonymous

70. . . . This is the amount of beat chants Ryan Nase and the Abyss have had. The Krazy Korner is ten times better.
---- anonymous

71. . . . Number of points scored by Hatboro Horsham basketball players who do not even live close to the township's boundaries. If they had to play kids who lived legally in the township, they couldn't beat Jenkintown.
---- Luke Dunn
    (Ted's note: I've heard this rumor. Doubt it's true, but the attempt is decent.)

72. . . . The number of people who thought Kevin Hanlon was going to get first team All-Catholic
---- Dan Szychulski

73. . . . Number of tattos on UNCLE TIMMY'S ankle. Nice clogs, Mr. Ginter.
---- Goose

74. . . . The # of times Kevin Hanlon has put the names of people totally irrelevent to basketball in the "North" in his Korner.
    (As a fan of catholic league basketball i honestly do not give a lick about ex-players girlfriends being in atendance....nobody does.......Hey Kev if you wana give shout outs call up q102.)
---- Thomas Young

75. . . . Equals the number of fans in the PCL who are hatin' on the ABYSS.
---- "GOOSE"

76. . . . The number of people Danny Szychulski hurts during practice.
---- Dutch

77. . . . The amount of people who call for the return of Juanny Wagz. Or as Coach Rutter calls him, "Johnny Wagz"
---- McDevitt fan

78. . . . Divide the number by itself and multiply by 60 and you get the weight of Dougherty's Bryan Green.
---- LOA
    (Ted's note: Multiply by maybe 255 and you get the weight of me.)

79. . . . The dollar amount "Hock" should be making daily.
---- Joe Hiensly

80. . . . The number of people that are naive enough to think Judge is undefeated because of their coach.
---- anonymous
P.S. -- They haven't lost in the North because they have the most talent in the North.

81. . . . About the amount of times Oreland has owned every other town on pure tenacity.
----Mike Smith (Tate)

82. . . . This is the number of times Marty Jackson has cried because of McDevitt's fans.
---- anonymous

83. . . . .The number of ABYSS e-mails posted by Ted since the start of the most influential fan section in the history of Philadelphia High school B-ball.
---- LOA

84. . . . This is the amount of red hairs McDevitt coach Jack Rutter has lost since he started coaching here.
---- anonymous

85. . . . The number of tears shed by the kids who played through Hatboro-Horsham grade schools & see little or no playing time........ZERO would be the number of starters (actually the 1st 6) that attended Hatboro-Horsham schools before 9th or 10th grade.
---- T. Bisset (This can easily be checked, if doubted)

86. . . . This is about the same amount of coaches on Judge's staff. (Half of them do absolutely nothing for the team).
---- Judge 13-0

87. . . . That is almost the number of times Northeast basketball player Steve Smith talks about this website.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: And well he should. We've been good to him!)

88. . . . Number of coaches at Judge and, yes, they all have something to do with it all.
---- KEV HANLON

89. . . . Hearts broken by Chestnut Hill basketball sweetheart Katie Ficken. (Graham)
---- anonymous

90. . . . Number of times we hushed the crowd at Judge's Senior Day game.
---- Conwell-Egan '01

91. . . . This is the amount of excuses Kev Hanlon makes every day of his life.
---- anonymous

92. . . . Almost as many days as it has been since Huck put in a full day at work.
---- B.B.

93. . . . Almost the amount of MVPs Roman has had since 1890.
    PS: Not to mention 3 already this year in all 3 major sports and there are a few candidates in baseball too.
---- Roman Student

94. . . . The number of Northern Division fans who actually think they can win a championship in the next millenium.
95. . . . The number of times that opposing fans just repeat the PREP's chants and they think are original.
---- Prep basketball player and Nut

96. . . . The number of times the "Wizard of Oz" has been exposed as the mediocre coach he is.
    (The curtain gets pulled back every year when he has to play a team that is any good. Also the number of excuses he will have for why a team with six Division 1 signees, Hatboro-Horsham, can never advance. Oh well, get on the phone and see if you can schedule Lower Moreland and New Hope-Solebury next year.)
---- Luke Dunn

97 . . . The amout of Judge basketball managers, and the same amount of people in the ABYSS.
---- anonymous

98. . . . The total number of times egan has lost to judge in all sports.
---- Italian Stallion

99. . . . the number of Sam's Pizza slices that Kevin "Wahoos" Hanlon ate to bury his sorrows after Sal Zuccarello took "Wahoos" to the hole in Wildwood Summer Leagues.
---- the champ (and Kev's cousin)

100. . . . the number of times father judge has choked in the catholic league playoffs.
---- Judge grad
    (Ted's note: Talk about harsh . . . )

101. . . . also equals the amount of championships the North has over the South, combining all  sports.
---- anonymous

102 . . . How many passes must be made in a Catholic North game before a shot can be taken.
---- South loyalist

103. . . .  The amount of dollars Puck will be docked for skipping out on the girls CL semis.
---- Huck
    (Ted's note: If not more.)

104. . . . The amount of points The Abyss will beat McDevit kids by in b-ball.
---- Italion Stalion

105. The amount of kids who wear JUDGE football jerseys to basketball games.
---- wish

106. . . . The number of times I hit myself over the head for going to a non-football school after reading Ted's book.
---- Jon FLC

107. . . . The amount of times Nase's dad has had to drive him in his buggy.
---- anonymous

108. . . . The number of times ted has picked the right team to win !!! NOT!!!
---- from a southern fan (thanks Roman and Neumann for a great night of basketball).

109. . . . The number of Neumann adults who gave me a hard time after the game tonight.
---- Ted
    (Ted's note: Zero -- The number of Neumann PLAYERS who gave me a hard time. Kids always have more class than adults.)

110. . . . The number of years before the North can compete with the South.
---- anonymous

111. . . . The number of illegal recruits in the CL southern division.
---- a neighborhood school kid

112. . . . THE NUMBER OF TIMES MY BOY HANLON CHUMPED ED CUBBAGE.
---- Dix

113. . . . The amount of times Coach Fox has thanked Coach Miller for coaching the 2000 Father Judge Crusaders (so he wouldn't
have to deal with the "Dynamic Duo"...Kev Hanlon and His Ego).
---- anonymous

114. . . . Amount of bad calls made by people trying to break Kev Hanlon. (Especially the one about me having run-on sentences. That was horrible. Keep trying, though. Surely you can think of something funnier than that!)
---- KEV HANLON

115. . . . The number of people that still give Friends' Central no respect.
---- FC player

116. . . . The amount of high schoolers in Philly that are better basketball players than Kevin Hanlon.
---- clever McDevitt fan (formerly known as Juanny Wagz)
    (Ted's note: Can you see Kev doing a slow burn? Now picture him typing away like a madman, firing off an e-mail, or 12, to good, ol' me.)

117. . . . The amount of butts Ed Cubbage had to kiss before they let him be a stat guy at Neumann.
---- Kev Hanlon

118. . . . The number of Northeast kids Judge basketball has missed out on!
---- anonymous

119. . . . Close to the number of times K-K coach Steve Carcarey says "Doctor" per game and the number of tissues needed to wipe the eyes of the other CL teams after the Wolverines win the championship.
---- anonymous

120. . . . About the number of times that kid spelled italian "italion". Way to go slick.
---- The real Italian Stallion

121. . . . The number of sunflower seed bags Schroller ate while on the bench last year.
---- KK Baseball fan

122. . . . The average number of kids that get ripped on in Philly Catholic Schools per hour.
---- anonymous

123. . . . The number of beat girls in Notre Dame.
---- anonymous

124. . . . About the number of Roxborough kids that think they're tuff.
---- anonymous from NORRISTOWN
    (Ted's note: Roxborough kids ARE tuff. Er, tough.)

125. . . . Number of teeth missing from a certain city Catholic school's fans, coaches, parents, and
players.
---- K-K dude

126. . . . The number of cherry snacks Danny Szychulski throws.
---- Fry Prep'01

127. . . . The number of laps Carcarey's gonna make someone run if they talk trash on this website.
---- anonymous
(Ted's note: Steve Carcarey is K-K's baseball coach.)

128. . . . Number of comments that have to do with Kennedy-Kenrick on this site.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: And I've loved every last one.)

129. . . . The number of fake stories that Goose is gonna make up to his grandchildren
about how he played high school basketball.
---- Andrew Holland
(Ted's note: I doubt it. Goose=Truth.)

130. . . . The number of bad calls that come out of "Dutch" Holland's mouth.
Goose's skin is a little thicker then that Famer Drew and it isn't cuz he is large.
---- Fat Ringo

131. . . . The number of people who think Griffin is crazy for going pro.
---- Italian Stallion

132. . . . The number of years between Public League victories at the Carpenter Cup.
---- Regrettably, Jon FLC

133 . . . The number of times a K-K baseball player has apologized on random thoughts,
because they got bitched out by their coaches for talking trash.
---- Prep 02

134. . . . The number of years before La Salle will again beat Prep in football.
---- Prep '01

135. . . . Number of Egan fans who are afraid to play the Abyss in the All-Fan tourney.
---- Goose

136. . . . Number of girls "The Terminator" has picked up in his Dodge Coronet.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: I gotta meet this kid.)

137. . . . The amount of points The Abyss would get beaten by if they even attempted to play Egan in a streetball game.
---- Egan '01

138. . . . Amount of bad calls made by Egan people. How dare people from Egan talk trash on here, your program is a disgrace, as is your school!
---- JUDGE1

139. . . . Number of cheers the best fans in the city (Prep) did at Larry Bowa's house the night before the home opener.
---- one of many prep rowdies

140. . . . The number of laps that Kennedy-Kenrick players have to run after being spanked for "talking dirty" on ted's awesome site.
---- anonymous
(Ted's note: I heard that the site was big topic of conversation at the CL coaches' meeting. Coaches are supposedly banding together and telling their players not to write in. Welcome to Russia!!)

141. . . . Number of lies that these prep dorks write in about.
---- JUDGE1

142. . . . Number of CL coaches hatin' on Ted.
---- Goose
    (Ted's note: Insecurity's a bitch.)

143. . . . Number of Diet Cokes given to the Prep rowdies by Mrs. Bowa on Thursday night.
---- John C '01
    (Ted's note: If she was REALLY cool, she would have had TastyKakes, too.)

144. . . . Number of times Judge1 has written in to this site and was afraid to sign his real name.
---- Pat McKeever
    (Ted's note: I know his real name. What's it worth to you?)

145. . . . Just about the number of gnats flying around Bonner's baseball field!
---- Bird

146. . . . The number of cheesy things those Prep dorks keep sayin' about gettin' diet Coke at Larry Bowa's house.
---- anonymous
(Ted's note: Don't be jealous. I thought the whole thing was hilarious. The whole group, 60 to 70 kids, sang
the National Anthem and Take Me Out to the Ballgame in Bowa's kitchen.)

147. . . . The amount of times us kids at judge say that was  BAD CALL
---- anonymous

148. . . . Amount of times Pat McKeever kissed Ted's butt to try to get on the site as a reporter next year, and I bet will do it many more times before next season.
---- KEV HANLON

149. . . . The amount of bad calls the kids of the Prep have made.
---- Wish Martin

150. . . . The number of smiling parental faces at the Penn Relays.
---- Jon FLC

151. . . . The amount of Central kids who think they are tough because they go to FAKE PUBLIC SCHOOL.
---- anonymous

152. . . . The number of Judge kids, like Wish Martin, who think they make good calls, but don't realize that they will be working at McDonald's in 5 years.
---- anonymous
(Ted's note: Hey, if it weren't for McDonald's, I wouldn't eat.)

153. . . . The amount of bad haircuts in the Southern Division.  DORKS!!!!
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: Ah, hair. I remember that.)

154. . . . Amount of points Tim Smink would score on Kev Hanlon if they played
. . . and amount of stupid comments made by Kev just so he can see his name on the site.
---- JL

155. . . . The number of bad calls such as the McDonald's comment by the Prep anonymous.  Keep trying Prep guys, we love um.  
---- Fat Ringo (frequent McDonald's visitor)
    (Ted's note: Fat Ringo could be my long lost son.)

156. . . . How many times JL kissed Sminks butt on the site . . . amount of points i would
win by if smink tried to run against me
---- KEV HANLON

157. . . . The number of times North's Matt Wendler will look at this site to see his name and solo home run next to it .... Also the number of times the moon will rotate around the earth before he will ever come close to doing that again.
---- Matt's worst nightmare ... the baseball (in the field and when he's at bat )
    (Ted's note: Matt always does well when I'm around. Who could ever forget his three-interception performance at d-back at the beginning of his junior year. Not me, obviously. By the way, Matt crushed that homer. Long drive! Deep left-center! OUTTA HERE!)

158. . . . The number of times Roman players swung after the ball was thrown by K-K's Matt Johnson and was already in Marc Wagner's glove.
---- anonymous

159. . . . Amount of times Kevin Wolf hit the refresh button to win Ted's two very informative books!
---- KEV HANLON
    (Ted's note: His finger's in a splint.)

160. . . . The number of people waiting to wager money on Tim Smink to beat Kevin Hanlon on April 28th at the Fan Tournament.
---- Jon FLC

161. . . . Amount of points I would beat Jon (FLC) by if he tried to play me one on one.
---- KEV HANLON

162. . . .  The amount of money Tim Brown had to pay someone to write something nice about him.
---- anonymous