TedSilary.com/Lloyd Sixsmith B-ball Fan Tournament
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North won the tourney!! (And kept the title despite, ahem, a "glitch")
Look below for team photos and boxscores of every game.

    Following exhaustive research, which took at least five minutes, we learned that North Catholic's powerhouse team included a Mastbaum student -- football-baseball player Mark Hansberry. Asked to comment on Hansberry, Mastbaum baseball coach Ralph "Bones" Schneider said with a laugh, "He's kinda nutty. I wouldn't mind sending him to North. But I'm sure they'd send him right back." Next, we contacted North star Ted Murphy and asked him to explain why the Falcons dared to perpetrate such a fraud. "He's our friend," Murphy said. "He was coming just to watch. You saw. He was in streetclothes. But two kids who were supposed to play never showed. We were like, 'We don't wanna FORFEIT. Yo, dude. Wanna play?'" Murphy reported with a laugh that teachers were giving him a hard time yesterday (April 30) in school as news of the deception spread. There was talk that the Faux Falcons would have to vacate the title and return their wonderful 3-foot -- I mean 3-inch -- trophies. "I was saying, 'You should be yelling at the guys that didn't show up, like we are! Not us!' Look at what we did! Five guys!"
    This was not an easy call for your TedSilary.com board of directors. We thought about it for at least four hours. Or was it four minutes? Anyway . . .  THE FAUX FALCONS KEEP THE TITLE!!!!!
    They were awesome, baby! They kicked serious tail! If they'd asked me, I would have approved Hansberry's participation anyway. (McDevitt was shorthanded. We added three kids from Swenson Skills Center). I do wish Murphy & Co. had sought permission, but guess what? It was cooler this way!! We love controversy!!
    Meanwhile, check the bottom of this page for tournament-related e-mails. My strong guess: Kev Hanlon will weigh in early and often.           

Here is the championship team . . .
Mark "Mr. Fraud" Hansberry, Mike Piotrowicz, co-MVP Ted Murphy, co-MVP Jeff
Husak, Matt Wendler.
The Falcons frolicked throughout the tournament. They defeated SJ Prep, 70-42; Judge, 76-30; and Wood, 87-41.
In the title game, Murphy shot 19-for-23 for 38 points and grabbed 29 rebounds!!!
These guys would give North's varsity a serious run. No doubt in my mind.
Murphy also played football and wrestled. He showed great hands and body control and
relentless effort. Plus, he had a look in his eyes that said, "I am not to be messed with."

North's Three-Game Cumulative Boxscore

We would like to thank the following people:
Lloyd Sixsmith Sporting Goods, especially Ed
    Lloyd Sixsmith Sporting Goods, a long-time fixture at 7554 Frankford Ave., was our primary sponsor. When you stop in or call (215-624-6670) the store, please mention that you appreciated "Sixsmith's" involvement. Thank you!!
Ed Carpenter of Ramp Playground
Rob Sullivan, Ryan Haigh, Ron Clarkson (briefly), Brian Corbett, Ryan "Goose" Nase and Kevin "Sparky" Cooney (emergency refs)
Thomas "Hockey Puck" McKenna (stat man)
Amauro "Amar" Austin and Kevin "I'm That Damn Good" Hanlon (scoreboard helpers)
Kevin McKinley and Mitch Benn (real refs)
Ryan "Goose" Nase, John "Fat Ringo" Gaynor and Aloysius "Wish" Martin (support/organizational staff)
Kristen Silary (concession stand)
Anne Pacchiano (moral support, food/soda purchases)

Tournament One-Game Records
Most points -- 38, Ted Murphy, North
Most rebounds -- 29, Ted Murphy, North
Most three-pointers -- 6, Jeff Lewin, Roman
Most three-point attempts -- 25, Jeff Lewin, Roman
Most assists -- 8, Jeff Husak, North
Best shooting percentage -- 82.6, Ted Murphy, North (19-for-23)

Note from Ted:
    I didn't do a good job of organizing the foul-shooting and three-point contests. There were ties
in both contests and some of the guys involved left the site before I had a chance to make them try
a second round of shots. Sorry about that, troops. (I gave the trophies to the co-MVPs.)

SCROLL DOWN FOR TEAM PHOTOS/BOXSCORES OF ALL FIVE GAMES

THE OTHER TEAMS . . .

WOOD
Front -- Sean McAfee, Ed Olinik, Chris Staudt, Kevin MacKenzie.
Back -- Brian McHale, Adam Reckeweg, Antonio Troisi, John Spinosa.

JUDGE
Front -- Tony DeLaurentis, Wish "The Freshman Sensation" Martin.
Back -- Ryan "Goose" Nase, Steve Glackin, Lou Dilonardo, Greg Hennigar,
John "Fat Ringo" Gaynor.

ROMAN
Front -- Jeff Lewin, Matt Guyon.
Back -- Tom Sugden, John "Byrd" Pendergast, Mike Filipone, Kevin
Marshall.

SJ PREP
Front -- Bill Smith, John Foley, Joe Paull, P.J. Lance and Jeff Melchiore.
Back -- Chip O'Connell, Ken Tomczuk, Liam Woods.

McDEVITT/SWENSON
Front -- Tim Szychulski, Mychal "Juanny Wags" Bligen, John Crossin,
Kieran "Fake Juanny Wags, Maybe Jim Nally" Leary, coach Mike Morak
(who neatly pilfered a shirt.)
Back -- Dave Collins, Brian Corbett, Joe Helveston.
McDevitt was a little shorthanded. We added three kids from Swenson
Skills Center -- Szychulski, Corbett and Helveston.

NORTH
Mark "Mr. Fraud" Hansberry (notice how he's hiding in a shadow; that
should have been a tipoff), Matt Wendler, Ted Murphy, Jeff Husak, Mike
Piotrowicz. This is how the Falcons looked before their first game. A little
less tired than later.

TOURNEY RESULTS . . .
First Round
North 70, SJ Prep 42
Wood 55, McDevitt/Swenson 54 (on late follow by Sean McAfee)
Semifinals
North 76, Judge 30
Wood 50, Roman 38
Championship
North 87, Wood 41

BOXSCORES . . .
NORTH 70, SJ PREP 42

WOOD 55, McDEVITT 54

NORTH 76, JUDGE 30

WOOD 50, ROMAN 38

NORTH 87, WOOD 41

"Hockey Puck" and "Goose" in control at the scorer's table.

We never thought we'd see this . . .
Website contributors and antagonists Kev Hanlon and
Amar Austin were in attendance. They didn't mingle
except to have this picture taken.

TOURNAMENT-RELATED RANDOM THOUGHTS . . .

    Tim Smink is a chicken, he called me out to the tournament, I was there ready
to tear him up and teach him a lesson! He didnt show because he was scared I
see what all you dougherty guys are made up of nothing bunch a bunch of no
heart chickens! For everyone who was talkin trash on me shame on you i was
the better man, i even heard my man amauro thought smink would beat me but we
will never know! judge was a disappiontment at the tourny, but it was a good
thing and we should all thank Ted............The tournament was a success!
hopefully it will grow bigger and better next year!
---- KEV HANLON

    If anyone was at the Fan Tournament on sat.  You would have seen the
worse spanking in the short Fan Tourney history.  Team Abyss lost to the Pit
(North) by a spellbounding 47 points......yes......47.  Although it was one
of the worst beatings I have ever received, the odds were not in our favor
and ........that's it......but just about our whole squad will be back next
year for an even better tourney with a game in which we keep the assaults to
under 20.  Good God......47.
------Fat Ringo

to the fat loser who has no game(kev)
  ur right, that is the way the game is played now. and it is just a game. i really
feel sorry for people like u who r hooked on it like it is life. i watched u for a
few years now, and ur not even good, not before not now not ever. so u can
get a life instead of talking trash to a bunch of kids younger then u, because u
obvisiouly have nothing better to do.
P.S.-why r u so scared to play tim
    (Ted's note: Only Kev knows whether he actually would have played. But
we ALL know this. Sminky was not on hand.)

dear fans
   i am sorry that i was not present to shut hanlon's mouth for you.  you
will think i am makin an excuse but i will tell you why i wasn't there. 
first of all, kevin never responded to all the rts asking if he would play so
i figured that he dind't want to play. i also had to work today but if kevin
had told me he woulda played, i would have gladly taken off.   so for all
those who believe me i am sorry, and gimme another chance to play kev, and i
will be there.  just make sure he lets me know ahead of time.
---- the legendary airballer (Sminky)

    To that guy who said I was never good and I am a loser the going rate to play
me is now at 600 dollars, instead of acting like a on line tough guy email me
and we will play ok, then i can laugh at you after i humiliate you, you lil
punk! Smink didnt show but it was all in good fun you loser, do you really
think I think Smink stinks? he was all catholic as a junior and is a
contender for Mvp so you get a life you loser and sign your name next time,
grow some heart!
---- KEV HANLON

    Kev --  y do u try to act so tough, all u do is make fun of kids younger
then u. get a life. u tried to act so tough showing up like u were gonna play smink
and u didnt even answer him. maybe u should spend a little more time out, instead
of sitting behind ur computer and thinking how to make fun of little kids.
---- anonymous

THIS IS WHEN THE CONTROVERSY KICKED IN . . .

    If "Mark Leonard" really does not go to North they should still be considered
the first ever tedsilary.com fan tournament champs because if you take away his
oints North still wins the games by 20 points. Some tough competition.
---- the ref, RYAN HAIGH
    (Ted's note: Yes, Ryan did help us as a ref. His mother, Eileen, is doubtless
the best female ref in the city. One of the best overall, actually.)

    you can't take the trophies away from North... If you take away his points they
still won it... GAME 1- North 70 SJP 42, minus "Mark Leonard's" points = NC 51
SJP 42... GAME 2- North 76 Judge 30, minus Mark Leonard's points = NC 58 Judge
30... GAME 3- North 87 Wood 41, minus Mark Leonard's points = NC 79 Wood 41
... As you see even without Mark Leonard's points Team "PIT" still won by an average
of 25 points!!
father1100@yahoo.com

    North give up your trophies, you cheated and lied! Judge would have beaten
you if you didnt have that ringer, he hit 5 killer 3`s to start the kiling of
judge take him away and judge would have beat them. they cheated, cheaters
never win! I should be thanked for breaking this news to TED!
now to the geek who said i need to get out more i guess you do too, how lil
are the kids im taking trash on 18 year olds? well im 19 and if that is a big
deal you are a loser and ill smoke you and smink, if its tim smith you stink
dude i heard you stink so stop writing in trying to get sminks back he knew i
had to be there because i work for the site so stop trying to get on me it
aint working your a geek bro!
---- KEV HANLON
    (Ted's note: Thanks, Kev. I was trying to protect your identity as The Mole.
But since you're obviously not hesitant . . .Um, cheaters DID win!!)

    Ted I have to agree with Kev Hanlon. Although I don't think he'd demolish
Smink, Hanlon was there whereas Smink was nowhere to be found. So quiet down
Smink, you womenly man. Also North should not return their titles. Who
cares? It's a fan tournament, not the NCAA finals. But anyone who watched
the tourney knows that the best player in it was Mychal "Juanny Wags"
Bligen. His patented dribble and turn the ball over to the other team is
near unstoppable (unless Coach Morak would have ever taken him out of the
game). But thanks Ted. The tourney was fun. The highlight for me was
throwing the ball off some kids nose. That was very humorous.
---- Kieran "Maybe Jim Nally" Leary
(Ted's note: Kieran had game, surprisingly. His moonball shots were always
in the neighborhood. As for the real Juanny Wags . . . man, his game gave off an
odor. Turnovers R Us. I had fun, too.)

Dear Fans,
      We could have played with the four players from North we had there and
still beat any team there and yes we would have even beaten JUDGE if Hanlon
would have played for them. Im not the best nor am I the worst but I dont
think there was a team there that could have stood with us if we did bring
our original 8 players. Oh boy it would have been even worse than it was. We
might have scored 100 points a game. But anyways if you want to HANLON you
put your money on that same Judge team and we will play them with the 4
players from North we had and I mean we will kill them by 40 again. Not hear
to talk trash but to defend myself in a way I feel I should. If you knew we
had a ringer why didnt you say anything when you were there or were you to
scared. No hard feelings TED, we're still cool but Hanlon is a HATER.
---- Matt Wendler
    (Ted's note: I'd love to see that 4-on-5 game. I'd still go with North, comfortably.)

     To Matt Wendler, I am formally not excepting your challenge for a 4 on
5 game with "The Pit" vs. "The Abyss" for the whole Abyss team.  Kev, I thank
you for your support but the only number that keeps popping in my mind is 46.
 Yes, Mr. Fraud did break the game open but, he did get cold and we still got
demolished.  I dont want that again.  Maybe if Wish Martin would have gotten
more time, it would have been closer.  I say we do a Wing Bowl next year
where a Judge team featuring myself and Goose can crush someone for a change.
And maybe Cooney would come back and "play" for his alma mater but that would
be a little unfair. You could have him Ted for team Daily News.  Now that
would draw a big crowd.  
------Fat Ringo
(Ted's note: Instead of wings, I'd prefer cheeseburgers. Or krimpets.)

    matt wendler you were the worst player in the tournament, ill put my money on
judge, and if you really think you would beat us with me on there team set it
up, I would beat the four of you i bet! who would i be scared of you puny @_
_? doubtful, I found out after the game the next day, what you think you and
your boys were gonna beat me up what are you some kid of geek? If i knew that
day I would have told ted, you stink next time be honest and dont use
ringers! your team aint that good, judge brought dudes to have fun if they
would bring serious guys they would kill you, but i will run with them if you
run your mouth again and we will kill you guys!
---- KEV HANLON

To Kev "no ball skills" Hanlon,
             I never said I was good for one. Two, never said my team was
great. And for three who said we were going to beta you up. All false answers
from the scrub of judge "Kev Hanlon". Hahahah you had your all-catholic
t-shirt on and some beat ass nike hightops during the tournament, what a
geek. You wouldn't beat us four by urself or with the judge kids. We know the
tournament was for fun and we asked kids who never played basketball for
NORTH before. Wow what did you want Judge to bring their basketball team, no
wrong answer it was a fan tournament, too bad the kids from NORTH who never
played just have a little more talent than the Judge kids. Wow I'm not the
kid who was beat up on the EL ''Septa" freshman year at NORTH and was so
scared that I would transfer to Judge. Nope that wasn't me, from what I
believe it was you Hanlon. If your so good why ain't you playing college
basketball and I haven't heard your name yet as a player and not a bench
warmer. Hanlon all I have to say is your a little punk with no game.
"HANLON the HATER"
---- Matt Wendler
    (Ted's note: If I know Kev, he'll take this lickin' and keep on tickin'. He may
have the thickest skin of anyone I've ever known.)

    ted, why wasnt dougherty in the fan tourney...we probably could have whipped
up a few ballers from the bin.
---- anonymous
    (Ted's note: Dougherty never indicated a desire to play.)

    to Matt " bad call" Wendler, everything you just said in your little
statement was not even a lick of being true. You are a geek. First off I
said that there are plenty of fans at Judge who are
good that are not on the team you little punk. I am not playing because my
grades slipped up when I was transfering that was killed all my chances to
play anywhere without going to CCP. So congrats Hanlon the Hater might be the
gayest thing ever said on the site, I gaurentee with me on the Judge team we
would smoke you guys, and to bust on me for wearing my All Catholic tee
shirt? Come on dude get better calls then that, you might be on of the
biggest geeks on this site, right up there in the top 3 def acting like your
bad or something you dork. I should not even respond to you, you are the one
playing in the "FAN" tourney you scrub! So stop acting bad all 115 pounds of
you wet and wearing boots because everyone knows you aint nuttin PUNK.
---- KEV "I OWN MATT WENDLER" HANLON
PS DUDE get some better calls please
    (Ted's note: I told you so. Coming soon to a playground near you -- "Hanlon
the Hater" vs. Matt "Bad Call" Wendler.)

Hanlon,
      Why did you transfer from North freshman year? Hmmmm was it that you
are scared of the enviroment or is it that you wouldn't have played over
Steve Szychulski (maybe thats it). But anyways the only bad calls being made
on this site is by you saying you would beat us by playing with Judge. I
doubt it. Other bad calls by you were: I'm 115 lbs. (NO), It was grades that
killed my chances of playing College Basketball ( No maybe it is that you
STINK), and that you are good (Is that your Final Answer, better use a
lifeline cause you stink, DUDE!). HAHAHA you say Dude and Punk (You must be one
of those Crazy Northeast Kids I would run from when i seen ya, SYKE.) Anyways
you COMPUTER NERD.......Get A Life cause Basketball wont get you anywhere.
---- Tourney Champ Matt Wendler
    (Ted's note: Working for the website will get him everywhere, though. Next stop,
Sports Illustrated!!)

    .... And from what I am hearing your a crazy Bridesburg dude! HAHA all them
chemicals must be going to your head becasue you swear your bad, ask steve
why I left North, I call you punk cause there aint nuttin you can do about
it. Your right I must stink at basketball after watching you play, because you
are pretty good! SIKE, I have seen Bowling players better then you at
basketball. If I am a computer nerd what are you? You are trying to do the
same thing on here trying to break me, and dude your calls are weak, all your
answers to my breaks were horrible, and to try to be funny by trying to imply
that this is who wants to be a millionaire gets one word. WOW!!!!!!!!!!! You
have now earned it (lamest) dude on the site congrats buddy you lil punk! You
prolly do run every time you see us northeast kids I wouldnt put it past you,
so if you are going to continue to say stuff that isnt even a little bit
funny I might stop answering you because you spit out bad calls left and
right so Matt"BAD CALL"WENDLER either get some good calls to make this funny
again or I will pick on someonelse, so DUDE either get good calls please or I
will have to put an end to tearing you up, because your calls just arent
cutting it for the web site, take some time before you reply so it has a
chance to be funny, PUNK. ANd ADmit you guys tried to pull a fast one on TED!
---- KEV "I OWN MATT WENDLER" HANLON
P.S. -- TED ban him and his bad calls
   (Ted's note: Speaking of banning someone . . . Kev, the cry to ban YOU is
getting stronger. I keep holding off, though.)

Hanlon complimented Mar. This is a sign of the apocalypse. Are you kidding me?
---- Jon FLC