JAN. 18
"Da Rebuttle" (or "Rebuttal", as it's really spelled)
   The following piece is a direct statement issued by the “Kingsley Krazie” Nation (not specifically by me!!) in response to the false, harsh, and misleading comments by the Friarside “Big Guns.” So pop your collars, sit back, and enjoy.
  Plain and simply “your boys” aren’t back. You are always in the basement of the Inter-Ac and you have not won a championship since 1995. You have no promising young talent, and converting All-City lineman (congratulations) such as Paul Ostick (who has trouble making it up the court more than once without wheezing) into a center simply won’t work. We won in 1998 behind the famous Whitworth brothers, who left their mark in the city of Philadelphia. Who do you have that will be remembered? Nope, sorry, Brian Grandieri does not count.
   First, let us begin with how you Friarsiders got to the game. After “Fergi”, and “KNEWBS” hopped into “B’s” Civic you bumped one another to “Earth, Wind, and Fire.” Oh, and one more thing, no one wants to hear about “KNEWBS” sloppy brawl at the only bar in Malvern. Just because every farmer and their sons were there does not mean it has to get out of control. Keep it classy.
   So you guys got to the game late (true fans), and claimed to get harassed by hoodlums. According to the dictionary a hoodlum is defined as a “thug or gangster.” Simply put, they do not exist amongst the Kingsley Krazie faithful nor would they publicly beat 5’7 gangster midgets, a bar-brawl crippled such as “KNEWBS”, and Jordan “I take Webshots of me and my friends” Ferguson. Maybe it was girls in white Ts who were scratching and clawing at your ever-so-sexy bodies. I know that’s a shock since you go to an all-boys school that does not even have a coordinate program. Farm life tends to shelter young men like yourselves from the beauties of adolescent life. And then you refer to yourself as Goliath. While Ostick and Alberici may look like Goliath, your team is not that type of powerhouse. Also according to the fable Goliath gets taken down by David, the smaller and clever opponent whom we resemble (see you on the 27th).
   On to the game. We, being the faithful fans that we are, were in attendance from the beginning. We played well in the first half. Our sharp shooting along with tough defense allowed us to go into the half with a four point lead. The Devils held Malvern to 22 points, which was 22 more yards than Hoban gained against the Devils in football. And his “fumble recovery” would have been overturned if the Inter-Ac had a replay system. But you beat us. We’re not going to sit here and complain about Rashad Campbell’s punt return for a touchdown that was called back. Basically we’re going to wait for next year, when we come to your house with big-game experience, a Maxwell award nominee, and nine returning starters that held your Godsend Hoban in check. But until then, good game.
   Back to the court. In the second half you guys played well. However you still showed no signs of a good basketball team. You still can’t play solid defense (leaving us wide open jumpers that we just did not make), Hoban can not make free throws when he hears Rashad’s name, and as a result you will get beat by teams like GA, Episcopal (who you already lost to), PC (next time around) and Haverford (led by the classy John Haldy, who not only is extremely talented but was able to take our taunting and come up to us after the game and tell us that we were the best student section in the area). We will admit we’re not a good basketball team. We have our moments, but that does not mean we walk around calling ourselves the “Terror Squad.” Please just “Lean Back”, chill out, and realize you are a below average basketball team, below average reporters, and awful fans.
   As for player of the game. We’re going to give it to John Alberici. No one else played well enough to get the MVP. While Mike “I wear straw and overalls while cruising in B’s civic taking webshots with Fergi” Francisco was clutch from the line, he’s still a young bull and is not deserving enough of this award. The “Ogre” however is a pure joy to watch. You can not help but laugh. Enough said.
   Now to the defense of our players. You called out Gary Lawrence. OK, he had a rough day. But needless to say he is, like you said, 6’6. Let me inform you he is a young sophomore who is not far off from eight years old. Give him time to fill out, refine his skills and this kid will be special. At least we have young players with upside. I wouldn’t be surprised if he lights the Friars up the next couple years. Look for us, we'll be the ones standing in the back saying I told you so.
   Next there’s Mike “Spike” Christiansen, who you so kindly gave the Player of the Game Award to. Chicks dig the hair. Get over it. B, you need to stop playing that act that you're some sort of 5’7 gangster, and start keeping it real like our man Spike. He isn’t going to put up big numbers, but he’s quick, hustles (if I recall he caught up to the speedy Joe Hoban and blocked him en route to a lay up) , and has a lot of heart (something your team doesn’t know much about).
  Last but not least there’s the “Kingsley Krazies.” A joke, huh? Where were your fans at the Inter-Ac opener, or for that matter where have they been all year? Malvern is a good academic institution that provides kids with a solid education and athletic program. But what you kids are lacking is pride. Pride in your school, and your teams, regardless of their record. You fail to show up in support at any sporting events, and I am pretty sure the 3 of you “Big Guns” were the only students in attendance at this game. Word of advice: Stop trying to act like you're cool gangstas from DELCO. YOU'RE NOT. Just because you live in the middle of the woods/farm country, and watch MTV rap videos to see how you should dress, talk, and act, does not mean you cannot come cheer at basketball games. Be confident in yourselves, have some pride for your school, and come out to cheer and have a good time. Being yourselves for a change instead of wangstas would be extremely worth your while. Look at the “Kingsley Krazies.” Our basketball team is 1-31 in the last four years in league play. But still, game in and game out, we are there in support chanting, yelling, and getting in the heads of weak individuals like yourselves. Lastly you made a comment about thinking that St. Joe’s Prep is your rival. Let’s face it, they are better than you in every way and would be offended if they heard that. They are rivals with La Salle, so once again stop trying to be something you're not. Instead we like your idea of creating a rivalry between our two schools. We match up well in every aspect. Football you beat us by one point (ask your players, not you sideline reporters, what they thought of our team after the game), basketball by four. However let’s realize that we split games with you in baseball, demolish you in squash (ha ha) and soccer, and there’s still one more game left between us in basketball. See you on the 27th.
Truly Yours,
The Kingsley Krazies